CRIT POST GOES HERE.

You know the drill, babies. ♥

PROFILE

character; Yamanaka Ino
series; Naruto
player; britt
email; chasingastarlight@gmail.com
canon; Chapter 450
arrival; January 23, 2009
residence; Building 3, apartment 23-24 aka the Ninjapartment

( MOAR )

--UT UP!

[ At first, the only image on screen is a blur--but then the picture settles on a wall. The bottom edge of a wall, to be precise, with the floor extending towards the camera. Large chunks of broken mirror are scattered on the visible ground. ]

Damn.

[ For a long moment, the only sound is labored breathing--labored, shuddering breathing, at least until Ino sighs and picks up the device. ]

It's on, huh?

[ Her face fills the screen, her expression almost weary if not for the moisture she's wiping from the corner of her eye and the frizzy hair hastily tucked behind her ear. She rolls her eyes. ]

It's like this thing has a mind of its own. It always turns on at the wrong time, doesn't it? Stupid.

[ For a second, it looks like she might want to say more, but--nothing. ]

Okay, first off, I hope none of you forgot about the party we're throwing tonight, that you're all invited to. Well, maybe not all of you, but at least the normal ones out of the bunch. Mostly normal. I've stopped getting my hopes up by now.

Either way, I'm still taking RSVPs~

Anyway, since there's a curse today--and a pretty awesome one, if I do say so myself--that is obviously just made for me for take advantage of, I thought I would be generous today and rate you all. You know, instead of me going around giving everybody their true score, everybody just comes here for it. From me, the expert on all things beautiful and stuff. I'd post my resume, but that would take too long.

I'll start.

Flynn: 9, would definitely hit that.
Setsuna: also a 9, though I'm pretty sure hitting that would be like hitting a robot.
Leon: 7, but mostly because tall men are much sexier.
Kanda: 8.5, would not hit, because I actually value my life.
Yuri: 9.5, been there, done that.

Feel free to rate me too, by the way. I accept nines and tens.

( [ private | unhackable ] )

( [ private to yuri | unhackable ] )

[ filtered from sakura | unhackable ]

Alright.

Can I get everyone's attention please? Actually, not everyone's attention, unless Forehead decided to switch teams on me, but just the cute guys' attentions. That should be good.

HEY, CUTE GUYS.

There we go. If that doesn't work, even my boobs might not help this.

Okay. Here's the lowdown: my bff forever, one Haruno Sakura, is sixteen and never had a boyfriend in her life. Well, she did, but she doesn't remember Anyway, for this reason and many others I won't get into right now, we've long established that she's well on her way to becoming a cat lady. And since I'm an amazing best friend, I've decided to intervene before things get too out of hand.

Unfortunately, like, we're pretty much the only people from our world here, so that kind of rules out all the guys from our village. But that's okay! I've noticed, in the year I've been here, that the City guys? Are way hot.

Long story short: please, for the love of god and cat ladies everywhere, date my best friend. Just one date. Or many dates would be awesome. She's very nice and all when she's not punching people in the face, and she's... very... smart? She loves reading and working and...

Oh, fine, here's the picture.

( pictures! | not icly cut )

There! See? She's not too tragic-looking, right? I mean, her forehead is the size of Fire Country and she's a bit flat-chested, but I hear pink hair is very exotic. And look! Her endless green eyes! They're nice, aren't they?

Just think, you could be staring into those endless green eyes over a nice, romantic dinner.

I'll be taking names here. Feel free to recommend your friends, too! We're not picky.

( [ private | unhackable ] )

( [ private to flynn | unhackable ] )

So we're supposed to wax poetic about the things we hate, huh? I'm not really in the mood. But here, have a bunch of things that should pretty much be banned from life.

Not because I hate them, but because they make you look like an idiot. And I kind of hate them. But mostly, this is just a friendly fashion PSA. Aren't I nice?

1. Lucite heels.
2. Pleather.
3. Cargo pants.
4. Combovers.
5. Backwards baseball hats.
6. Plaid.
7. Skinny jeans on fat people.
8. The color orange.
9. Split ends.
10. Perfume that comes in a bottle more than eight ounces.
11. Cubic zirconia.
12. Clogs.

Now you can't say that I didn't warn you.

Hello, everyone!

I just wanted to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! I hope everybody liked their gifts, though I'm not really sure what I was thinking when I got some of them. But I guess it's too late now! And thank you to everybody who got me a present. You're all so thoughtful!

Also, since, um, some of these clothes in my dresser are really... aren't really suitable, I was wondering if anybody knew a good clothing shop? I hate shopping, but... the only places I know of aren't really appropriate. Um, yes!

And one more thing... I would appreciate recommendations to a great place to get a cheeseburger. I'm really craving one!

Thank you!


[[ooc; Opposite curse! Pretend this was posted like, way earlier today. And now... ( gift list! )]]

Naughty:

• Laughed at Shikamaru when he was stuck in my outfit. Because it was funny.
• Told everyone on the network that Shikamaru was gay.
• Made out with Neji... and Shikamaru... and Sakura. I was helping Neji get that stick out of his ass!
• Hit Shikamaru. A lot.
• Forced Naruto into being my manslave. Totally the easiest bet ever.
• Taught Naruto what a morning glory was.
• Told everyone that Shikamaru has a tiny dick and is awful in bed. Which is probably true, you know.
• Flashed my boobs at everyone in a sexual harassment meeting.
• Hijacked Estelle's body and kissed Yuri.
• Touched... Yuri.
• Told Flynn that Yuri was a sexual deviant and totally molesting a child. That was seriously worth it.
• Got Setsuna drunk on frilly girl drinks.
• Sicced Sakura on Yuri.
• Decorated the house with mistletoe during the curse. Even though it kind of totally backfired.
• Stole Teito's first kiss.
• Then kissed Sakura again... and Leon... and Flynn. And Setsuna and Chase. And Yuri.
• ...Kind of liked all of it.
• Told Flynn that Yuri and I are... together. Ish.
• So like, am I supposed to feel bad about this stuff? Because I kind of don't.
• Seriously.

Nice:

• Threw Sakura a birthday party.
• Did not throw Shikamaru a birthday party.
• Set Shikamaru and his one true love, Temari, up on a date.
• Set Estelle and her one true love, Yuri, up on a date.
• Healed Yuri after his little evil stint.
• Saved Sakura from her cruel destiny as a cat lady.
• ...There has to be more, right? I am totally a nice person! Everything I do is out of pure kindness.
• Okay, whatever.

...Well. It's been a busy year, hasn't it? I really don't understand my naughty list, though. I mean, half of that stuff was all for other people's own good, like--like taking over Estelle's body! I was just helping her assert her feelings.

I guess I'm just a misunderstood philanthropist.

So... let me get this straight.

If you stand under one of these mistletoe things with somebody else, you get this overwhelming, uncontrollable urge deep in your soul or crotch or whatever to just kiss them? Like... like alcohol or roofies except without the throwing up?

...Awesome.

Hey, Leon, Teito, Ruca. I'm just going to bring a few things over to your place, alright?

And since everybody here was sooooo helpful last time: lip gloss or lip balm?


[[ooc; ALL REPLIES ARE VOICE, unless you feel like actioning it up for mistletoe kisses. She's currently walking across the City to the shotahouse WITH TONS OF MISTLETOE IN HER HANDS, so... yeah. ANYBODY WHO WANTS A KISS WILL GET A KISS, whether she knows you or not.]]

Well, that was an eventful week.

( [ private to shotahouse | unhackable ] )

( [ private | unhackable ] )

...Okay. So. I think my best friend has finally found her destiny.

As a cat lady.

She just got this huge orange cat--I know, I know. You're thinking to yourself, so she has one cat now. Big deal.

But no. It is a big deal. Because she's a workaholic, totally boyfriendless and flat-chested, her hair has never seen a deep conditioner in its life, and now... she has a cat. To fill the void created by loneliness. Or something.

And as she spends Friday and Saturday nights with this huge orange cat, she'll think to herself, this humongous orange cat makes me feel loved like people do not. So she'll get another. And then another. And then another. And on and on until she has more cats than years. Until she dies alone and friendless, and her neighbors, disgusted by the smell, find her body a week later, half eaten by her thirty six cats.

And that, guys, will be her unfortunate path to cat ladydom. This is just the first step.

So does anybody know how to take care of cats? I think we should name it Naruto, Sakura. Since it's fuzzy and orange and eats its weight in cat food.